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Dating someone going through custody battle. Ten Things You Can Do To Sabotage Your Custody Battle

There are many reasons less-fit parents gain custody: Note that I'm using I'm banging the pronoun "he" in the examples below, but this certainly applies to both genders. In some details, courts and legal professionals are beginning to use the term parenting schedule instead of custody and having. The judge didn't even read her pleadings and ordered custody because he breasted fathers should have joint custody. Never remain quiet if something about your Ex's co-parenting is fucking you. Although it has been so widely favored amongst legal systems, there are some cocks to the concept. The judge didn't even read her pleadings and busty custody because he believed fathers should have joint custody.

Strategic problem-solving model looks just at cistody issues at hand. Do bahtle. address the gattle. reasons why problems are happening. As co-parents you will identify the problem and negotiate choices and solutions as objectively as possible. Strategic problem solving directs each somene to resolve conflict through a careful approach of 1 exchanging information about needs and priorities, 2 building upon shared concerns, 3 and searching for solutions. This is done without getting into yours or your Ex's emotional needs, wants and desires. Social-psychological problem solving is a more emotional way of resolving issues.

The focus here looks at your attitudes and the emotional reasons for co-parenting blind spots. While the social-psychological model, like the strategic model, assumes that parenting conflicts are bound to arise, it differs from the strategic model by focusing on the psychological factors that drive conflict and negotiation impasses. Talking with your Ex using this model can be tough, and it's okay if you never reach this way of problem solving. But if you do, remember not to be accusatory or critical. Commit to making co-parenting an open dialogue with your Ex.

Arrange to do this through email, texting, voicemail, letters or face to face conversation.

There are even websites where you can upload schedules, share information and communicate so you and your Ex don't have to directly touch base. Rules should be consistent and agreed upon at both households. Issues like meal time, bed time, and completing chores need to consistent. Create an Extended Family Plan. Be Aware of Slippery Slopes. This is why a united front in co-parenting is recommended. Although it may be emotionally painful, make sure that you and your Ex keep each other informed about all changes in your life, or circumstances that are challenging or difficult.

Go for the high notes. Each of you has valuable strengths as a parent. I know, I'm not as good as she is. Emotionally charged issues about your Ex should never be part of your parenting. The main thing here is this: Don't jump to conclusions or condemn your Ex. What, then, does he have to be angry about? My ex, like most high-conflict personalities, isn't happy unless he has a target. While I certainly could have, and should have, handled some post-divorce issues better, my behavior isn't really the issue. His anger isn't about me; it's about his need to be in control and to rip me into teeny-tiny pieces.

He will never, ever change. Friends and family want to comfort those in the cross-hairs of a high-conflict ex, so they offer conventional wisdom. They believe they're dispensing sound advice because they're reasonable people and it doesn't occur to them that not everyone is capable of being reasonable. These well-meaning statements often have the opposite effect than is intended.

Dispossessed dads: ‘Fathers are second-class parents and given limited access to children’

Instead of offering hope, the conventional wisdom sound bytes minimize the reality of those of us who are stuck with high-conflict exes. I have compiled a list of 7 things never to say to someone going through a gnarly divorce. If you know anyone extricating herself from a union with Attila the Hun, please consider deleting these comments from your reservoir of comforting phrases. Note that I'm using I'm using the pronoun "he" in the examples below, but this certainly applies to both genders. For the hostile ex, a new beloved will not lessen his animosity towards his former partner. The new partner will become the template for All That is Good, further cementing the former partner's status as the template for All That is Bad.

Just use a Parenting Coordinator. This statement makes it sound like getting an effective PC is as easy as asking for an iced soy latte at Starbucks. In the state where I live, for example, a judge cannot enforce the use of a parenting coordinator. That means if one party wants to be collaborative, and the other party doesn't want to cede control to anyone, there will be no PC. The other problem with this statement is the presumption that a Parenting Coordinator will make things better. There are effective Parenting Coordinators and there are burned-out Parenting Coordinators, who can make a bad situation even worse.

Again, a statement brewed in the tea bags of Reason and Fairness. They render themselves unemployable, yet have access to separate funds from wealthy family or significant others. Further, if they work for themselves, or their income is erratic, there are no steady paychecks from which to garner. You should go to court and get full custody. Mothers always get full custody! It's a myth that mothers "always" get primary custody. The judge didn't even read her pleadings and ordered custody because he believed fathers should have joint custody.


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